Thumping and Pumping

I just typed the title of this post and giggled to myself a little.  I have a vision of someone typing “thumping and pumping” into their search engine looking for something x-rated and reading the following post…

I posted a few days ago about the little poo problem we were having.  We ended up needing to have the septic tank pumped.  Woo hoo…Paarrtaayyy!

Yay! Septic pumping!

Before we moved in, we had the septic guy out to check out the system.  We’ve never had a septic system before and wanted to learn more about the proper care and feeding of a septic system.  That and logic: if the house hadn’t been lived in in a year and the house itself was in disrepair, the septic was likely not in great shape.  We had heard good things about one company and called the guy to come out and take a look at the system.  What I did expect was to learn more about the septic system.  What I did not expect was a septic bible study.

Wow, was this guy religious.  Not that there is anything wrong with that, but he was religious in a way that made me uncomfortable.  I don’t even know how religion was “worked in” to the conversation about the shitter, but he somehow made it happen.  Usually, I would say something to stop the conversation from going that way, but this guy had the fate of our poo in his hands, so bit my tongue.

This last time, I learned about Pontius Pilate and his role in Jesus’ death.  Just what I want to hear about while he is pumping 1,000 pounds of sewage out of the septic tank.  But, here I was again….this guy had come out to pump the tank and we were in an “emergency” situation and needed his services.  So, even though I was paying him and was technically his customer, I felt indebted to him….so I was once again a captive audience.  As the fumes of who knows how many years of stale shit wafted over me…I bit my tongue.

After he left, I posted something on Facebook about having the septic pumped and a friend who lives in the country nearby posted about the “poop pumper man who gives you a lesson on the bible” and was grateful that I wasn’t the only one who had experienced the Bible Pumping Poop Pumper.  He really should rename his business.

Holy Shit