We’ve been pig people for three weeks now and I’m doing it all wrong.
First, I named them. This is rule numero uno when it comes to raising pigs. Whatever you do….don’t name them.
Second, I spoil them. When it’s cold, I take them hot water and make them hot pig grain oatmeal. I make them corn bread and take it to them while its still warm from the oven. I peel their hard boiled eggs. Whatever you do…..don’t spoil them.
Third, I worry about them. Are they too cold? Too hot? Do they have enough bedding? Are they eating enough? Why is that one making that noise? Is that normal? They sleep a lot, do they usually sleep this much? They are farm animals….whatever you do….don’t worry about them.
Fourth, I love watching them. They way they play with each other in their pen, the cute noises they make, the way they run to me when I have yummy treats for them, the way their little curly tails wag…..it’s all just too cute. I could spend all day with them and be happy. Whatever you do….don’t enjoy watching them.
Fifth, and this is by far the most concerning thing, they make me hungry. Watching their fat little rumps as they run around….I think of tasty ham. Looking at how long bodied the boy is…..I think of long strips of bacon frying in a skillet. Watching as they grow fatter and bigger, I think of tasty ribs cooking in the smoker. Bratwurst, chorizo, German sausage, breakfast sausage….. nom nom nom……delicious. Whatever you do……don’t…..oh, wait. This one is okay.
Just try not to salivate on the pigs when you’re spoiling, worrying, and watching them. They don’t like that very much.
