Our House Journey

At one of the Disney parks in Florida, there used to be a ride called “Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride”.  I’m not sure if it’s still there, but I believe it was based on The Wind in the Willows.  It was jerky and bumpy, but safe for little kids and you couldn’t help but giggle as you rode along.  Growing up, we always joked that riding in the car with my Dad driving was like “Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride”….it was jerky and bumpy, but safe and you couldn’t help but giggle as you rode along.  Yesterday, I took the kids out on the lawn mower….ahem, I mean lawn tractor….for a little joy ride.  When the eldest drove the tractor, she was cautious, watched for big bumps, slowed down when appropriate, and never really got going too fast.  I relaxed in the seat and rode along.  No big deal.  When the youngest took the wheel, I couldn’t help but flash back to ole’ Mr. Toad.  He was jerky and bumpy and fast….I think he was AIMING for bumps and once bounced us so hard in the seat that the machine stalled on us!  I guess Mr. Toad like driving is hereditary and he got the gene (must have skipped a generation because I drive smooth as silk…insert sarcastic grin here…)

This morning, I donned my overalls (yes, overalls – they are very practical), and hopped on the lawn tractor to start mowing the field North of the house.  I put in my headphones, turned on the tunes and started mowing.  It was actually a great way to spend time.  The air was cool, the sun was shining on the freshly cut field surrounding me, the grasshoppers were jumping around.  I let my mind wander as I rode and mowed (so poetic, I know).

It was peaceful…zen-like…I was just reaching near Buddha enlightenment when I looked down and noticed I was nearly out of gas.

So much for enlightenment.

Sunrise at the farm – all the enlightenment I need for the day

We have hot water!  Hot running water and a shower that is bigger than 2 feet square!  It’s wonderful!

In this lifestyle of living in the camper and being house-less, I find it’s the little things.  After toiling away on plumbing and  running into set back after set back, having running water (that drains!) is a wonderful thing.

Other wonderful “little things” I’ve discovered over the past three weeks:

Free wireless internet (thank you library and the laundromat)

Hamburger Helper (makes cooking in the camper easy and surprisingly delicious)

A good movie (when you have no Dish or cable, a good DVD is a wonderful thing)

Ice Cold Beer (I don’t really need to explain that one, do I?)

Paper plates/utensils (sorry environment, but these are a must have right now)

A hot shower (aaaaahhhhh)

Afternoon rain (the hot days are bearable when the afternoon rain comes)

And the number one “little thing” I am enjoying right now….a porch.  The farm house has a wonderful porch and I have found myself sitting on it every afternoon enjoying a beer or a magazine or just a break.  The breeze blows through, the flies stay out (it’s screened in…mostly…some of the screens are’t really “in” anymore), the quiet settles around you and you can just breathe…  I told Sean yesterday that the porch was my reset button.

As cliche as it sounds, I’ve been very appreciative of the little things.  They get me through and make me realize this little adventure really isn’t all that bad.  Oh, and the kids running around in their new overalls is just simply priceless!

The past few days have been busy ones.  On Saturday, we were feeling very frustrated with our situation living at the shop.  It’s not in the best of neighborhoods, the dogs were very difficult to deal with (especially having one with an eyeball sewn shut), and the kids had nowhere outside to play.   I decided to text the current owner of the farm house to see if we could pull the camper out to the house.

I’d resisted asking if we could do this sooner because I didn’t want to be living at the house (even in the camper) until we at least had a closing date.  I don’t know if I thought it would “jinx” things or if I just didn’t want to get too attached.  Two things changed my outlook.  One was how miserable we all were at the shop and the other is that I’m feeling really confident that the house will be ours soon.

On Saturday, we had to go figure out the power for the camper.  It proved to be more than we were bargaining for (not really too surprising) and we spent most of the day driving around getting the parts we needed.  After trips to both Lowes and Home Depot in town, we ended up having to trek to another town 30 miles or so away to get the rest of the parts we needed.  Or so we thought….

We worked on getting this electric box for the camper added for the better part of the day.  We had some scary moments and even our first injury.  We STILL didn’t have everything we needed.  Sigh…  So, Sunday, we schlepped back to get yet another part and crossed our fingers that would get it done.  Thankfully, it did.  I was close to asking the guy in the electrical department of Home Depot over for dinner, I felt like we were getting to know him so well!

Sean’s first injury working on the house. I didn’t have any band aids, so we used kleenex and a scrap of ribbon we found. I’ve since bought a first aid kit!

On Monday, we were determined to move the camper to the house.  We wanted a water source, so Sean decided to try to turn the water on.  The original plan was that he would call me while turning it on so I could tell him if there was massive leaking and he could turn it off.  I had the youngest in the bathroom upstairs and the eldest stationed in the kitchen downstairs so they could holler if they saw anything leaking.  The plan was aborted without my knowledge and Sean turned on the water without calling and having me on the line.  All of a sudden, I heard whoosing all through the house, I heard the water heater filling and pipes filling with water.  I bravely peeked in the crawl space where the spider web of pipes to the kitchen are and saw what appeared to be the Grand Canyon in the crawl space!  Water was leaking from EVERYwhere!  Then, I heard the eldest hollering that there was water dripping from the ceiling!  ACK!  Thankfully, Sean strolled in at that moment, crawled under the house, and shut off the main in the house before we all floated away.

So, I guess long story short….we have some plumbing work to do.  BUT, we moved the camper from town to the farm house and are at least closer in proximity to calling this place home!

Yesterday, I went to a laundromat for the first time in a long time.  The most convenient was a place called “Duds and Suds”.  I thought it sounded like a great place to not only wash clothes, but grab a cold beer.  It was Monday at 1pm and I wasn’t planning on having a beer, but thought I’d check the place out for future washing and boozing needs.  I was extremely sad to see that while there were plenty of washers and dryers, there was not a drop of beer to be found.  I thought that maybe I had misinterpreted the name…maybe the name “Duds and Suds” only referred to the suds that were formed while washing your duds…

Begrudgingly, I filled up three washers with our week’s worth of clothing and plugged in my quarters.  I sat down to wait for the washers to run their cycle when, what did I see but this sign:

False advertising at it’s best!

A bubbling basket of clothing meets a frothy mug of beer!  In stained glass no less!  So, where the hell did the beer go?

After some complaining on Facebook, I learned that this establishment did indeed have a bar at one time.  Who knows why it doesn’t any longer.  The only way to quench my thirst there now is with one of the lukewarm pops from the machine.

Bathing has been an interesting process while in the camper as well.  We have three options.  The first is the shower in the camper.  The hot water heater is not working in the camper, so if you select this option, you are taking a cold shower.  It has been 90+ degrees every day, so this doesn’t seem like the worst idea, but the A/C in the camper keeps it nice and cool in there.  Plus, there is an A/C vent just outside the shower door, so not only do you have a chilly shower, but you get blasted with arctic air when you get out of the shower.  Sean has chosen this as his bathing method of choice.  I have done it once and likely won’t do it again.  I have not subjected the kids to this torture.

The second option is the Sun Shower set up.  We have two 5 gallon sun showers which, when left in the sun all day, get really hot.  Too hot.  So, I’ve learned that if you fill it about half full (optimism, folks!), leave it in the sun all day, then fill it the rest of the way with water from the hose, the temp is perfection.  I bought a shower “enclosure” from the camping section of the store that sits behind the camper.  This option offers a perfectly heated shower, but the shower head hangs at your knees and is difficult to open with soapy hands.  You also can’t shower in the morning because the water hasn’t had a chance to heat up.  I have also bathed this way once, but it is becoming my preferred method the more options I try.  This is also the best option for the kids.

The third option is to “army shower” in the sink in the shop.  If you aren’t familiar with an “army shower” it is simply washing your face, hair, armpits, and crotch in the sink.  This is the only way to get real water pressure, isn’t as cold as the camper (the water isn’t heated, but the shop isn’t cooled either), but you also don’t get the fully “clean” feeling either.  This is what I chose today because I wanted the water pressure to get my hair washed well.  Afterwards, I decided to actually dry my hair with the hair dryer for the first time in over a week!  What luxury!

The youngest is going to a friend’s house tonight….maybe he can shower there.

Day 3 in the camper, but who’s counting….  Since moving out is now done, I decided to tidy up our living space today.  There were two pallets of block just outside the camper door that were not only ugly to look at, but attracted yellow jackets.  This morning, I decided to build a retaining wall out of them to give us some privacy.  Not a level, plumb, built correctly wall, but a half-assed ghetto wall.  If you choose to sing along with the caption, be sure to do it in Cartman’s voice from “South Park”….  That’s what I was doing all morning as I moved block…

Everybody sing along “As the snow flies
On a cold and gray chicago mornin
A poor little baby child is born, In the Ghetto…in the ghetto”

Had enough block to do a second, little wall around the A/C unit.  So, here’s my second ghetto wall:

I learned that we had 4 different types of cinder blocks, all of varying weights and that yellow jackets really like pallets and cinder blocks.  I also learned that Goof off kills yellow jackets faster and more effectively than wasp spray.  We’ve gone through 6 bottles of wasp spray in three days, so I had no choice but to use an alternative.  I may be buying Goof off instead of wasp spray from now on.

We’ve sprayed at least 6 or 7 nests, this is the biggest

Also, I got this little hand truck to help with moving boxes and have found it ridiculously handy.  It helped me move all the block to where I wanted it today and it folds flat for storage.  Thanks, little pink hand truck!

Appropriately named “Magna Cart”. Sean made fun of it, but it has become my most useful tool!

I only got the pink one because the red one was $10(!) more, but now I kinda like that it’s pink.  At least I don’t have to worry about the hubby stealing it!

Finally a little calm in my brain today.  I even managed to take the kids to a movie this after noon and wax my eyebrows.  Success!  Maybe tomorrow, I’ll sleep past 6am!

Today is Friday the 13th and is also the day we closed on our house that we were selling.  It was a bittersweet day with emotions that ran the gamut for me.

The day started at 6am when the cat used the litter box and made a mess all over his butt fur.  Lovely way to start the morning.  Thankfully, we made it through the cat butt cleaning process without any new injuries.  Then, I got a phone call from the realtor (my mother in law) that yesterday, the property management (PM) company checking on the house we are trying to buy discovered that the lock box was gone and the doors had been tampered with at the house.  So, the eldest and I raced out to the house to see what was up.  As I drove out there, my stomach was in knots, my emotions were high, and I couldn’t get there fast enough.  Thankfully, the house was fine.  The lock box was in place and no doors had been tampered with.  Not sure what the PM company was looking at, but I was thankful for the false alarm.  Once I got in the house and discovered that all was well, I sat on the bottom step and felt the sting of tears in my eyes.

The stress of this situation has been intense.  It all hit me as I sat there.  I sat in this house that we want desperately to be our home.  We have fought so hard to get this house.  We have no home as of 2pm today because we want this house so badly.  I realized that I just had a massive adrenaline dump and anxiety racing out to check on a house that isn’t even ours yet.

After the emotions settled down a bit, I headed back to our shop where the camper is parked.  Our home as of now.  I went in to let the dogs out and one of them (the “good” one) had peed all over the floor.  Perfect.

This afternoon, we walked through the house we are selling with the buyers.  I thought about the 7 years of memories I had in that house.  I didn’t feel sadness, but nostalgia.  I am looking forward to the next stage of our lives.  I said months ago that I would rather be homeless than not be able to buy the farm house because our house hadn’t sold.  I still feel that way.  I am glad our house sold.  I am glad we got what we were asking for it.  I am glad we are strong buyers who don’t have a contingency now.  I am glad we paid off 3 loans today.  I am glad that the stress of being a home seller is over.  I am glad the moving out part of this is done.

So, even with cat poop butt, stress that the house had been broken into, and dog pee, today was a good day.  Top it off with a few beers tonight and it is an even better day!

We cleaned the house we’re moving out of today.  What a complete and utter pain in the ass.  I never thought we were particularly messy people, but oh, what surprises await you when you haven’t cleaned behind or underneath something for 7 years.  Big thanks to my mom for helping me today.  Made a full day’s work get done in 6 hours or so.

I’ve never been much of a cleaner.  That is until I married my husband.  After 13 years of living with a neat freak, you tend to learn to tidy up a bit.  One thing I’ve noticed is that the closer you get to things, the dirtier they look.  Also, once you start cleaning, it’s hard to find a place to stop.  So, I stood up a lot instead of getting on my hands and knees to stay further away.  I also decided when it was time to just be done.  No matter how clean I think it is, I’m sure the new owners will go in and clean it all again anyway.  I kept thinking “this is the last time I’ll mop this floor” or “this is the last time I’ll scrub this toilet”.  I did take the opportunity to nag my son about hitting the toilet bowl one last time.  In this house anyway.

Night two in the camper tonight.  The puppy is in a kennel so I won’t stress about him having an accident.  If his whining would just stop we could all sleep in peace!

I’ve said no less than 237 times this past week that I’m never moving again.  I’m pretty sure I’m not being dramatic and that I mean it.  Next time I move, it’ll be to the old folk’s home and I won’t be doing it, my kids will.  I figure I moved then into this world, moved them twice as kids, will move them into their college dorm, possibly help them move a couple times as adults…the least they can do is move me when I’m an old fart.